On the run
by Syba
Summary: O'Hara was one of the Dark Lord's favourites. She was a quick thinker and a great actress. But one fateful day, she decides to leave. Her partner in crime, Severus, is the only one who knows about her plan to run. She leaves and - to everyone's surprise - manages to survive for quite a few years. But things go wrong and she is forced to return home.
1. Chapter 1

"I need to quit my job." Dumbledore looked up from his notes, very confused. The young woman before him looked his straight into the eyes, something she rarely ever did. "Excuse me?" "I need to quit.", she repeated. He gestured her to have a seat. Reluctantly she did as she was told. "And why would that be? You always loved your job, did you not?" She silently nodded and rolled up her left sleeve, revealing pale skin and The Dark Mark. "Jade, we have already talked about this." the professor reminded her impatiently. "Yes, we have. But now I have to leave London. Great Britain. I need to get out." "What happened? Did you kill anyone?" "No. It's just- No! It's none of your business! I just need to leave, full stop. I need to quit my job of which you're hereby informed. You can have a formal note of termination if you want. I'll deliver it first thing tomorrow. And then you'll have to let me go. In a week it'll be like I've never been here." "You can't leave just like that." "I don't see a problem!", she hissed back. Like a wounded animal, scared into a corner, no way out. "I won't find anyone else in the middle of a school year.", Dumbledore explained. "You can't leave, I cannot let you go." "Then I'll run. But don't you worry. I have talked to Hagrid, he could take up my job for the rest of the semester." "Hagrid? He's way too young and inexperienced!" "He knows everything that there is to know about the creatures in the forest. You can still find 'a proper teacher', but for now you'd have at least someone." Dumbledore sighed and gave a sad look. She loved her job. She loved London. She despised of being a Death Eater and tried to keep her casualties as low as possible. She'd done a great job not to kill anyone in the past two years.  
"When will you be leaving?" "As soon as you dismiss me." her voice sounded sad and heavy from fear. Whatever had happened, it surely would get her killed if she stayed only one moment longer. "The you are dismissed." "Really?" Jade jumped up, excitement in her eyes, as if this was just another adventure she'd have. "Yes. Pack your stuff and leave. Don't you dare to get killed!" "Thank you, Sir!" She bowed before him. "I will remember your kindness that once saved my life." And with those words, she left.  
Severus Snape had been waiting for her outside the headmaster's office. "He let you go?" "Yes, indeed." He had to hurry to catch up with her again, taking long steps and hurrying down the corridors. "You will not make it. No one ever survived leaving." "There's a first time for everything." "Not for this, Jade. He'll find you, even before you've left Europe." She turned around, facing him. Not meeting his eye, she always carefully avoided looking into people's eyes which tend to drive those around her mad. "I will live. And even if I won't I will at least have some more days on the run than I would have staying." She cocked her head and then sped on, back to her office. There were things to pack and a run to survive. Severus shook his head and headed after her. "You're being stupid. Go and speak to Lucius. He could surely help." "I shall not dare to make a second attempt of negotiating with The Dark Lord. Did you forget what happened the first time I tried? He nearly burnt off the skin on my back." There was no use in trying to convince her and Severus knew that. He liked her and would've loved her to stay. She had helped him a great deal and she often covered him whenever the Dark Lord became suspicious of him hiding something. Still, she would be leaving. "Where are you ging then?" "I'm not stupid. I won't tell you." With the wink of her wand she unlocked her office door. "Goodbye, Severus. Go and see Lucius once in a while. Being alone for all too long just makes you a bitter, cynical old man." "I've never had many friends and those I had are either dead or will be quite soon." "Except for Lucius, so don't you forget him. Visit him every now and then, play with his son, it's a cute young boy."  
"You will die." "I know." her voice trembled and she did her best to hold back tears. "Goodbye." her voice broke. "Farewell, Jadyn. I hope we never have to meet again." For it would only happen if they find you. "So long, Severus." The door closed.  
By the time night fell, she was gone. Her office was as clean and tidy as if no one had been in there for the past one and a half years at all. When she did not show up for dinner, the students became suspicious. Dumbledore explained that Jadyn O'Hara had left for private reasons. No one asked further questions. In the staffroom word had gone round that she was a 'living dead', meaning that she was doomed to die before the month's end. And Severus knew they were right. The Death Eaters were already looking for her, roaming the streets. Some of them had bets going on how long it would take them to find that runaway. Bellatrix Lestrange had gone for two weeks. Two weeks and then Jadyn would be dead.  
Two weeks. Maybe Severus could talk to Dumbledore and persuade him to help her a bit. Fake traces, forged reports and interviews with people who would claim to have seen her, ...  
Maybe he could make it three weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

"You are the stupidest girl I have ever met.", Severus greeted her. She was soaking wet as she hadn't been prepared for an English summer. She had been gone without a trace for over five years now. So why did that stupid woman come back? Why would she risk such a thing? These were all questions Severus didn't ask himself that night. Part of the reason might have been the time of 3.00 AM. "Yes, I, too, am happy to see you all alive and in one piece.", she spit. "Why the harsh tone? You should be praising me for not calling Him." Severus explained. She cocked her head and if looks could've killed, he'd be twice dead, brought back again, just to burn in the fires of hell once more. Oh, her infamous look of hate! He had almost missed it. "May I come in?" "Of course." He opened the door a little further, so she could slip in. His apartment was dark but clean. He guided her into the living room which was quite dark as well. With a flick of his wand he lit some candles. The Bordeaux-coloured curtains threw shadows on the wall, black dancers, that made her feel uncomfortably watched. "Have a seat.", he offered, gesturing at the sofa. "Do you want some wine? I still have some left..." "Are you drinking, Severus?" "No. Should I be?" She flashed a smile and leaned back. It felt more comfortable than anything else she'd slept on in the past four months. Severus himself took a seat on the opposite armchair. "I believe they are not searching for me anymore?" Jade finally asked after staying silent for a while. In Severus' voice was little excitement, though some curiosity did show. "They are not. But if there will be any sign of your return, they'll be at your throat immediately. Which brings me to my question: Why did you come back? I thought you were past the state of pre-pubertal stupidity when The Dark Lord took you in." "They picked up my trace a few months ago, in Russia. I had escape plans for Italy, Los Angeles and Zimbabwe but somehow they... occupied all those places. To really get rid of them once again, I needed to go where they wouldn't expect me to go." "Back to hell." She nodded. "Exactly. I just need to stay for a while-" "You do remember," Severus interrupted her, slightly warning her, "that I have to tell him. In about a week." She nodded and suddenly she looked very tired and old. Older than he remembered her. Then again, five years were a long time. "But you will let me stay?" "Of course.", he mumbled. "Although I do not appreciate of you showing upon my doorstep at three in the morning. Without any warning." "I couldn't risk being tracked by some stupid letter." "And instead you risked me reporting you." "I was fairly certain you wouldn't." "How come?" Her eyelids fluttered and her head fell back. "Difficulties to stay awake?" "No. No, I'm fine.", she quickly assured. "I'm just... never mind. Anyway, I trusted you because we worked together for... how long, two years? I helped you to get over Lily. No, not get over her. Cope with her dead. And I know that you are even more shady than Lucius, which provides me with quite a powerful knowledge." "You would've blackmailed me?" "Never and you should know that. After all, we almost consider ourselves friends, don't we?" "Friends!", he snorted, somewhat mocking. "Partners in crime would be exaggerated. I do not think I can even remotely imagine you as a friend." Her voice lowered and became somewhat bitter as she spoke. "There are few people you hold dear. I know I am one of them. You once needed me, I was everything that kept you alive after she-" "Kept me alive? You dragged me back every time I was about to cross the threshold to death! You forced me, to live!" "And was it not a good thing? You would've lost nothing if you'd done it while I was away. Nothing, Severus, and still you are here. Here with me, as I might point out. Me, who dragged you out of bed at three in the morning, me, who I am one of the most wanteds on the Dark Lord's list and me, whose staying here brings you into lethal danger. I am here and so are you. You are helping me and I can say for sure that you would not take that risk for many other people. So do not tell me I wasn't your friend!" Severus arose with a swift move and flashed a smug smile. "And if you are my so dear friend, Jade, tell me one thing: How dare you showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the night and risk my life in such manner?" Her eyes showed a very pensive look as she went pale, considering what she hadn't considered before: She was risking his life without his agreement and still dared to call herself his friend. Then he left her with those disturbing realization.

It was quite early, when Severus awoke. The sun was just rising, it was rather cold outside and thin fog covered the streets. He got dressed and was reminded of his visitor when he entered the living room. She had curled up on the couch, her face buried underneath a pillow. Severus decided not to wake her and instead talk to her later. He would have to get some groceries, now that there were two mouths to feed. Fortunately, much unlike many of his fellow wizards, he had a rather large amount of muggle clothing in his wardrobe, so that he was able to freely move in the non-wizard society without being called a freak. He'd been called a freak often enough, so no more as long as he could prevent it.  
After he'd got dressed, Severus snatched some muggle-money and shortly considered leaving her a note. No, no need for that. She would be fine. And after all, it'd be best if he'd cause no traces at all. Not even a note.  
The air was cold and his breath left small clouds in the air. He pulled his coat closer for it was way cooler than he'd expected.

_Januaray evening. It was rather warm for this time of the year._  
_"If he's letting us wait for just one more minute, I swear to god-" Jade bridled low voiced. "Jadyn, please. No harsh words." Lucius greeted her as he opened the door. "Come on in, my dear. Severus. Nice to see you, too." "The pleasure is all mine, Lucius. How is your dear wife?" "Pregnant.", the blonde sighed as Jade and her companion stepped in. "Emotionally unstable. She turns from the loveliest wife one has ever encountered to the most fearsome being I have ever met. The Dark Lord has nothing on her! And back to my dear Narcissa, all in one sentence. It is very straining.", he explained while guiding them to the sitting room. "May I offer you a glass of wine? Or a coffee, perhaps?" Severus took his seat next to Narcissa, greeting her cordially but distanced. It was just that distance for which Jade hd always admired him. "A glass of wine will do just fine, thank you." "Dobby! Get our guests some wine. The good one, we are celebrating!" Jade wandered the room, fleetingly stroking the spines of some books before she strode on. Every now and then she would take a book from the shelf and skim through it. She had always admired the Malfoys' collection of unique and rare, precious and valuable books. "Jade. Come and meet my wife." Lucius grabbed her elbow rather roughly and guided her to the table. Narcissa made an attempt to get up but Jade denied: "Do not bother to get up for me, Misses Malfoy." She shook the lady's hand. "It is my honor to meet you." She gave her big belly a glance. "And my congratulations on your child. Are you happy with it?" "That is a very rude question to ask!", Narcissa insecurely stated. Jade smiled gently and nodded. "I do not mean to offend you. If I did, know that I am dearly sorry. But I have met people who were not happy at all with the child they beared. Going by your reaction I judge that you are more than happy." She looked up to Lucius as she took her seat just a few chairs from Narcissa. "And so is your husband. It is always nice to see how much happiness a child brings." "Have one yourself then?" A voice screeched from behind her. Surprised she turned around. Bellatrix. Lucius smirked. This was going to be fun. Bella always tried to have Jade lose her control, go mental on her so she could report her to th Dark Lord. And Jade always fought for just that last bit of self control. "I see my brother-in-law could not resist the temptation to invite you." "It's not like I begged for it." "No, you didn't. Never begged for anything, now did you? Never would, either, right?" "Bella, please.", Severus admonished. "Do not start that fight now." She laughed maniacally and sat next to Jade. "You did ave t choose that place, did you not?", she murmured, rather annoyed. Bella was just about to answer when HE entered. Maybe he had been there the whole time, but fairly certainly he did not have to knock anyway when he wanted to enter Malfoy Manor. "Ladies, Gentlemen. Good evening." Everybody quickly arose again, greeting him. "Have a seat milord. Would you care for a glass of wine?", Lucius quickly offered. Of course, that Dark Lord denied. He always did. Yet, to keep it polite, Lucius offered him wine every time. "Narcissa.", the mighty wizard cooed. "How are you?" "Fine, milord, thank you." He nodded before he scanned the other guests. "Lucius, where are Greyback and the Crouchs'?" "I am afraid the can not attend tonight. Greyback for.. Obvious resons. It is full moon." "I know, you do not have to remind me." The Dark Lord tapped his finger on the table quite impatiently. Dobby entered with the wine. Finally. Lucius handed glasses to everyone and filled them. "Cheers, my guests." "Cheers." "And where are the others?" "The Crouchs' have a funeral to attend to I am afraid." "A funeral." The Lord repeated hoarsely. "Indeed.", Lucius confirmed as he too his seat next to his master. The Dark Lord turned to Jade. "Now, Jadyn. Do you have what I asked from you?" "Indeed. But Iam afraid it is not complete yet." "What is missing?" "The lowest floor, east wing. It was altered just two days ago and I did not yet have a chance to have a look at it." She drew a map from her sleeve and handed it him. He opened it and studied it carefully. "This will do just fine." Severus gave her a glance and saw her exhaling in relief. Though she had incredible faith I her abilities, she was always scared that her master might not be happy with what her results were. The Dark Lord then handed the map to Dobby. "Store that for me. And I dare you to damage it in any way...!" "Yes, Sir. Dobby will store this. Do not worry. Map will be fine, Sir. Dobby hurries." "Shut up and move, you stupid piece of-" "Bella.", Narcissa warned and gently touched her arm. "Now, Severus, Lucius, any news on the minister's assistant?" "His daughter will attend Hogwarts." Severus announced. A pleased smile tugged at the corner of the Dark Lord's lips. "Brilliant. Anything else?" "No, master." Lucius admitted. He didn't seem too happy that he had nothing more to add. "Very well then. Shall we now begin celebrating that our fellow, Greyback, became leader of his pack?"_

It had been a very amusing night, with a lot of wine, especially Bella might even have had a bit too much. And Jade had gotten on good terms with the Dark Lord, a chance that Bellatrix missed out on entirely due to the fact that she... well, she was busy drinking the wine and trying to talk having that 'bastard' out of Narcissa. Needless to say, she had failed but enjoyed that argument with her sister to no end. Lucius and Severus withdrew into another corner of the room while they were chatting about Lucius becoming father and Severus' new job in Hogwarts. Every now and then they would review their Death Eater actions, why they had failed or succeeded. Just now, remembering this night, Severus noticed just how much the Dark Lord had changed in the past six, seven years. He had been so much more human when they had celebrated Greyback's success in becoming the leader of a werewolf pack. Not as human as any of his followers, but still more human than the monster he was now.  
A burning sensation on his left forearm dragged the potions master back into reality. He was calling. A picture flashed before Severus eyes; a luxury mansion, covered in shadows. That was where he needed to go, now. Severus shot a quick look at his pocket watch: It was barely 8.00AM. So what could possibly be so important that the Dark Lord called him now?


	3. Chapter 3

Just like the night they had celebrated Greyback's victory, only few and the best Death Eaters had gathered. Apparently Severus was the last one. A little boy, not older than twelve, awaited him in impatience, tapping his wand in threatening manner on the table. The Dark Lord. Ever since his fall - which was, funny enough, just two months after Jade had disappeared - he was barely able to keep a body slave to his mind (which, needless to say, survived... somehow). He had only recently become strong enough to occupy at least a child. "Severus. Glad you could make it.", he greeted his servant very cold. It was about time he came here. "Sit." With a submissive nod the man did as he was told. "Have you heard the news?" Severus gave Lucius a contemplating glance. "I do not think so, master." "Bella accompanied Greyback on a mission in Moscow. A vampire then, one night told them about a woman he had met in the city. A pretty girl, with an eidetic mind, maps all over her apartment and an always covered left forearm. Sounds suspicious?" Severus sounded hoarse and surprised. "You found Jadyn?" "Me and Greyback skimmed her apartment. We had to make sure she wouldn't escape. We found backup plans for Siligo, Sardinia and Los Angeles as well as for Harare, Zimbabwe." Greyback interrupted her and continued: "We posted guards all around those towns. Then we attacked. But she managed to get away from us." He chuckled in such a disgusting manner that Severus whished not to ever think about what he would have done to her if they had caught her and Lord Voldemort decided, that he had to remind Greyback that he needed that girl mentally stable. After all, he would be the one to break her. His fingers dug deep into the soft wood of the table. "She really did show up on every single backup city." Greyback chuckled. "Before she disappeared one last time.", Lord Voldemort finished. He still couldn't quite understand how his followers could have failed to capture her. Four times. Moscow, Los Angeles, Siligo, Harare. Four times she showed up, four times she was expected, four times they let her escape. Fools! "Now, Severus! You are probably the one who knew her best. You have worked with her and even back in school she was already a close friend of yours." Severus nodded. That was correct. The voice of the boy sounded young and tiny, almost helpless. But the look in his eyes was more than enough proof of the power behind that innocent young face. "Tell me. Where is she?" "I don't know. But I am certain I can find out." "You better!", the boy snapped. Oh, how the Lord hated this body! It was humiliating! Such a fragile body could break on any occasion and caused suspicion wherever he went. 'Such a little boy, what are you doing out alone-' were usually people's last words when he came around. Fools. They were all such- "Milord, she might have come back to Great Britain." Severus assumed. "London?" "No. Not that close to us. Maybe Northern Ireland. Or... Glasgow. Somewhere close enough, where we would not expect her. And yet far away enough to not meet us by accident." "Village or big city?" Severus closed his eyes and buried his face in his palms. Where was she more likely to go? "Cities. She'd always had a thing for metropolises.", he finally announced as he looked up again. "Probably somewhere north of England." "North. Could she hide in Hogwarts? Would Dumbledore grant her asylum?" "I must admit I think this very unlikely. He wouldn't risk Hogwarts in such a manner. But on the other hand..." Severus looked around. With a wide gesture he pointed to his fellows. "He does not yet know that you are back. It is possibly that he thinks us - Death Eaters - not such a great danger." "Speak to him! Find out whether she's hiding in Hogwarts! I need to know where she is!" The Dark Lord hissed. It would've seemed dangerous if he hadn't had the face of an angry schoolboy. Yet, even Bellatrix thought it best not to laugh at him. "Bellatrix, Greyback, Barty! Gather whomever you need to track her down. Scan every large township north of England. Find her. Find Jadyn O'Hara. I want her here. I need her here. Make sure not to harm her! I need her intact - her mind, her body, her soul. You can have your fun with her-" he promised with a warning look at Greyback. "After I've had mine. NOW FIND ME THAT GIRL!" Bella, Barty and the werewolf quickly arose in alarm, bowed and ensured the boy that they would find that girl and bring her to him without harming her in any way, before they left the room to get to work right away. "And you, Severus! Make sure you check her favourite places, Hogwarts, her old apartment, everything. Follow every and all traces you find. If there is even the slightest chance of her being around, you will check that place for her. Understood?" "Yes, Milord." Severus arose as well. "Am I permitted to leave?" "You are. You all are. Leave. Now."

The room was empty quite soon, the voices outside faded. It was still early and yet, Voldemort was tired. Tired and exhausted. It was so much work to keep this body at bay, have him do what he wanted. Quite a stubborn boy in there. But he was getting used to being submissive, to having to share his body, to have no right to control it. He leaned back and closed his eyes. He was not just tired. He was angry as well. Very, very angry. And all he wanted, all he needed, was her, screaming in agony, bleeding and cowering in fear and pain, humiliation and shame. No one ever dared to run from him, no one would ever survive that! He had found everybody so far, everyone had ended up as a devastated corpse in some basement or graveyard or front lawn. And so would she! What actually made her think she could run from him?!

_"Basil?" He turned around. When he had first met her, he noted that he didn't like the name Tom. So she had decided to call him... another name instead. He had been Charlie and Basil, Morton and Shane, Ivan and Gene. But no matter what she called him, he always knew he called for him, simply because she didn't have such many friends and whom else should she call for when he was alone most of the times? He was the only one around and therefore she couldn't call for anyone besides him. "Jade. Have a seat?" "Thanks." She dropped herself next to him, forcing a quick smile to his lips. Her company was rather enjoyable. She handed him a piece of cake she must've snatched from the kitchen. "You didn't show up for lunch.", she explained and her eyes scanned the lake. It was completely frozen, the ice thick enough for ice skating. However, it was almost ten below and barely anyone was still outside. "Thank you." he murmured as he put the cake aside. He didn't like cake very much but appreciated the gesture. "I was in the library." "Found any information on your parents?" "Barely anything." "How about this?" She plucked a sheet of paper from her long sleeve and handed it to him. Tom unfolded it and skimmed over it. It was a newspaper article about a girl robbing and abandoning her family.. For love? "I found it in my winter holidays while I was in Cardiff. They had a library there and I thought having a look wouldn't do harm, so... well, here it is." Locations. There were locations! And names that might help him tracking down- "Thank you, Jade. I am sure it will prove helpful." "Don't do anything you'd regret." "Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?" "People consider me your friend." "Well, you are not!", he said harshly. She looked a bit hurt. But she quickly swallowed her pride and replied: "Maybe I am not. But I have proven myself helpful." "Indeed, you have." Jade feigned a smile and gestured towards th newspaper article. "You owe me one." "Do I?" "You're a man of honour." "I am fifteen years old. I am not even considered a man. People consider me charming and clever. However, that does not make me an honourable man. Especially as honour tends to stay in the way. One need s to get his hands dirty if one wants to accomplish great things." "Always so full of yourself!", she mocked. How dare she mock him? His fingers clamped around his wand, he needed to focus to not hex her then and there. Mock. Him! Yet, she didn't seem to notice his reaction. Or she just didn't care. When it came to him as an authority figure she had been taking more risks speaking her mind than anyone else. And maybe she just ignored his furious reaction:"Listen: You owe me one. Or I will report you for sneaking out at night and breaking into the forbidden library. And encouraging people to break the rules." He mocked. "I am sure you could find more." "I could make a list. But that's not the point. The point is, love, that you're going to be kicked out of Hogwarts. You've been careless this year. One more slip and you're back where you started from. The orphanage. Nowhere to go. So you either help me of start packing up!"_  
_He drew his wand and had her panting in agony before she had even realized what was happening. Tom knelt beside her and leaned close. She could feel his cold breath on her neck, as he whispered: "You are hardly in a position to demand things, Jade. I now advise you to watch your tongue. I am the power, you are the mind. So do not tempt me to remind you of what I am capable of." His voice sent shivers down her spine as he forcefully invaded her head. Fifteen years of age and yet he was capable of some powerful legilimency. She gasped in horror, tried to protet herself aginst his mind. Cold, cruel and painful he dove into the depths of her mind. Memories and thoughts, hopes, dreams, everything just came to him. But Tom was not interested in her life, her being. He didn't care. But alone her fear that he might care, that he was actually able to read her like a book made her fear her more than anything. "Please..." Jade whimpered. "Please- Stop it. Please!" His mind withdrew. There were tears in her eyes which made him smile. She was talented and a quick thinker, but she was so weak when it came to protecting her mind. With a cold-hearted laugh he took her hand and pulled her to her feet. "Get a hold of yourself, O'Hara." She nodded and wiped her tears away, her eyes cold and distant. As he spun around, making his way back to the school, he rhetorically asked: "What could you possibly want from me anyway?"_

Entering his apartment, Severus tripped on an atlas and just a few metres further he ruined a sketch of the ministry of magic when he dropped a milk bottle. "Hey!" With a flick of her wand Jade made the glass pieces and the milk disappear. "Careful!" "Careful? Lady, this is my flat! Stop spreading your stuff everywhere!", he reprimanded her venomously. She complained under her breath and yet did as she was told. Severus took his things to the kitchen and cast a quick spell that took the groceries where they were supposed to be. When he returned to the sitting room where she wrote down spells into a small notebook. Spells that would cover her track, spells that would enable her to disappear again. "How are you getting on?" He asked and took his seat beside her. She looked incredibly exhausted and strained as if she'd been in great pain or fever. "I'm... slow. I started very early- you were just gone!" "Do not pretend that you were worried." "I was not. But only then I recalled the fact that I might consider you a friend or at least a host, but I can not even trust you. And then I realized that I might not finish my plan by the time your fellows show up here." He sighed. There was no point in what she was telling him. So he changed the topic. "You look terrible." "Severus, whenever he calls, I can still feel it!" "And it must hurt like hell, am I right?" "Oh yes, it does. I spent the whole morning trying to mute the pain. Nothing would work. But in the end it knocked me out so... ya, it was a bit exhausting." He nodded tried to briefly imagine her pain. It was actually surprising that she was still alive, after fighting to resist his burning call for such a long time. Strangely enough, he realized, she had always won. and peeked into her book. She had spread spell books and potion books all over the table, copying things from here and there or taking inspiration from one or another book. "Do you even remotely know how much work this is? I need to set up everything right from scratch." "I was not the none who got caught." "No... you weren't." her voice trailed off. Suddenly she slammed down her quill and looked up, faced him. It seemed like she just remembered something very important. "Severus Snape!" She sounded very angry. And confused. Which made such a hilarious mix that he had no idea whether that was funny or scary. "Yes?" "You never told me!" "Told you what?" With an angry sigh she pulled out an old newspaper article from under her notebook. She slammed it into his hands.  
It didn't take Severus more than the headline to know what she was talking about. It said: 'GREATEST DARK WIZARD FELL' "Why did you not tell me?", she blamed him. Now he was sure that the emotion in her voice was more confusion than anger. "I forgot.", he admitted. As strange as it sounded, it was the truth. He had been living with that fact for almost five years. However, he would need to explain. "He fell just two months after you left. No one knows exactly what happened but he was just... gone. For almost three years. Then his mind - which was all that was left, for his body simply appears to be gone - finally gathered the strength to occupy a body. And ever since we were having proper meetings." "Like today." "Yes." "That means I wasn't actually in danger the past five years?" "No. It means you were in really great danger because the Death Eaters were quite eager to find you - to welcome him with pleasurable news if he returned." "You weren't _sure_ that he would return?" "How could we have been?", Severus shrugged. Jade was baffled and did not say a single word. She was still grasping for words when he leaned over to have a closer look at her notes. "You do know that the potion of living dead is not a definite solution?" "Pardon me?" "He could reawaken you." "You mean 'you' could." "That does not matter. One will reawaken you and then you are going to be in more trouble than ever before." "Then what is a definite solution?" "You want something that kills you?" Severus arose and strode over to the cupboard in which he kept his private supply of potions. "Yes. And I need something that works quick. I can not put up with any nonsense on that matter. I need something that ends things when there is no other way out." He nodded and unlocked the cupboard. He handed her a small vile with a thick dark liquid inside. "Kills you in a few seconds. Faster than you can say 'potion'. And there is no doubt that nothing and no one could ever be able to bring you back." A sad smile appeared on her lips. "Thank you, Severus." And as she considered their situation, she figured it really _was_ kind of him to hand her that potion. She could not trust him, maybe she's die as soon as she'd leave his apartment. But at least she'd die by her own hands and not by the cold cruel hands of Him.


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING! Trigger warning: Rape is a thing in this chapter (nothing being depictured!) and there will be mental abuse! For all of you, who do NOT WANT TO READ this chapter - there will be a summary at the end of the chapter.  
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Disclaimer: No one except Jadyn O'Hara belongs to me. Of course I do not make money with this rather chaotic chapter!

A/N: I'd love to say I'm sorry that this update took me so long. But i just couldn't get myself to write. I had this idea but then I thought it'd be just stupid and, ah, well, now I did write it in the end, but it is very chaotic and messed up and I am sorry if you don't like this at all (which I could understand as it **_is_** truly incredibly messed up. the lines inbetween are just there to show that a new phase, mostly some days later, begins. I though it might make it easier to read. (*To Avalon: I tried to fix the flashback-thing (had to think of some way anyway because there is one hell of a flashback!) I hope it's an acceptable solution!)

And now: ENJOY! (And pretty, pretty please leave a review, ja? Even a short one would be perfectly fine, just a note on whether you liked it or not!)

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**AUTHOR'S PROLOGUE:**

**This chapter takes place in the past. Jadyn just disappeared a few hours/days ago (meaning this takes place shortly after Chapter 1) and when the Dark Lord noticed, he had her apartment searched for anything useful on where she might have gone. While he - more or less constructive - contemplates the situation, he recalls how he forced her into being what she became: His puppet on a string. That's what she had seemed to be for a long time. But how did they get there? How did he break that lively girl into thinking he was the only one who could keep her safe? He doen't truly know but he enjoys recalling the story of her breaking. **

**It is his masterpiece of manipulation.**

They had raided her apartment - and found nothing. Apparently she really had not been there for as long as she'd been gone. His men, however, did take some old maps and sketches, most of them not finished. Which made them no less useful.  
The Dark Lord's pale fingers ran over an old big notebook of hers. Bound in leather, as were all of her notebooks. Jade once told him how much she enjoyed the feeling of leather between her fingers, especially if it came in the shape of a book. He grabbed it and opened it on some random page. Text. He skipped forward and backward but there were no drawings, just notes.  
Notes mainly about dark magic. For a moment he wondered whether she'd taken them in school or after her graduation, when she met up with him and the others to study Dark Magic; to become a Death Eater. Then again, it did not make a difference. He should have known better than to give her extra lessons, better than to trust her so much.  
He dropped the book. It was insignificant. It still cost him much to restrain his wrath. He. Had. Trusted. Her! How did she dare betray him?! His trembling hands rushed for his Dark Mark, calling her, as he had done so many times before. And just as the last few times, no response followed. He could still feel something - she was alive, after all. But Jadyn made no attempt to follow his call. His hand sank and he took a seat in the armchair Lucius loved so dearly. Leaning his head back with an angry growl, he remembered how he had bound her to him. Such an evil action, some would say. Others would call him a genius or a fool. Some might say her becoming more dependent on him was just a side effect. As a matter of fact, it had been both: Calculated and a side effect. An expected side effect. Though it backfired at first and she sought distance from him more than ever before or after (except for now, of course), one day she returned to his side where she stood strong and immovable. Ever since he could consider her one of his most trusted fellows. If not the most trusted one.

~Flashback~  
He took a seat next to her, silently as always. Sometimes he did not speak for days, but she was fine with that. Mostly because he usually came up with some neat idea afterwards. But this time he seemed somewhat worried which he rarely did. Or maybe she was misinterpreting. Curious Jadyn looked up from her book, putting it away. "Are you alright?" "I sure am. Listen-", he turned around and faced her, a serious look in his eyes. "I need to ask you something but you may not tell anyone about this, understood?" She frowned. He sounded more serious than he usually did when he came up with something stupid. She wondered whether it might really be that dangerous.  
"Sure..." He nodded satisfied and leaned back again. "Will you go to the Yule ball with me?" What? "Excuse me?" "You have understood very well." Jadyn hesitated. Tom Riddle was asking her out? If he hadn't looked so pathetically serious, she would've laughed. He surely was not the kind of guy to ask her out. To ask anyone out, actually.  
"So?" Without doubt he expected her to agree. But though she would do a lot for him, this was not one of those things. "Oh, yeah, sorry. I am just a bit... surprised I dare to say." "Why so?" "You do not seem like the kind of guy that asks someone out." "I never said I am asking you out." "But you are?" "I am." She sighed. He was really annoying sometimes. "Anyway - can I think about this?" Tom shook his head. "Of course. I will not rush you." He despised of the answer. He wanted her to go with him and this stubborn desire made him feel like a little stupid boy who wants sweets and would not get them. He got up. "Just tell me when you've made a decision." "I will.", she ensured.  
Jadyn found herself unexpectedly unable to continue reading her book. Trying to understand what just happened proved as very distracting. Why would he ask her out? He didn't love her, didn't love anyone, she was sure of that. Not an asexual, not necessarily, but definitely an aromantic. So why, why for god's sake, would he ask her out? Not just asking her to go to the ball with him so both of them wouldn't look like idiots who have not friends - asking her out! She shook her head. He could've asked anyone. Bellatrix, for example, who was so very keen on him. But he hadn't. Instead, he had asked her...  
"Hey, Jade!" A smooth silver voice filled the room as the pale girl took a seat next to her. Narcissa. Very arrogant, easy to corrupt, had her eyes and ears everywhere and was less anti-social than most of the other Slytherins.  
"You look startled.", she stated. "Yes... Do I, really?" Jade was not trying to be mean. She was just having problems pushing the questions aside and focussing on a proper conversation. "I've known you from your very first day in Hogwarts on. You're not one to be easily startled but if you are, you do a bad job hiding it." "Thanks a lot, Narcissa." "I'm just saying that this must be something very, very great if it has such an impact on you." "Someone asked me out. To the Yule ball." "That's great, not a catastrophe." "Maybe to you. But I am not sure I should go with him."  
Narcissa snatched the book Jade had been reading before Tom interrupted her and Narcissa skipped through he pages until she found an interesting part. "Why not?", she asked, still incredibly curious. She just knew that Jade hated being stared at when she spoke about personal things. "I think I'd be doing someone a favour and that should not be the basis of a date, now should it?" "No, it shouldn't. You need to get things you don't feel comfortable going there with him, then turn him down! What makes you think you'd be doing yourself - or him - a favour and not enjoying yourself on a date anyway?" "He doesn't seem like the kind." "There is no wrong kind for love." "Believe me, there is. He is." Narcissa smiled. Jade was playing hard to get, wasn't she? That really didn't seem like her as well. "Anyway," Jade attempted to change the topic, "Who's your partner?" "I... No one has asked me yet." "Didn't you want to go with Lucius?" "Everybody wants to go with Lucius." "I don't!"  
A voice called from the door. Bellatrix entered. Narcissa smiled an annoyed smile and Jade rolled her eyes and at the same time begged, Bella might not see her. But of course she did. "Hey, gem. Anyone asked you yet?" "Adventitiously Yes." "Awww, that's cute. Someone is actually stupid enough to try and cope with you for a whole evening." "Shut it! Who's asked you yet?" Bella leaned back, her arms crossed. "No one yet, but he will ask soon, I know it." "He?" "Riddle." "He's never gonna ask you!" Jade almost laughed. Bella looked pathetically determined. As if! "Of course he is!" Jade shook her head and even Narcissa snorted amusedly. "Back to you!", Bella decided and gestured at her sister. "Why do you not ask him?" "It's not ladies' choice.", Narcissa defended herself. "He could have anyone anyway." "And as we know him, he probably has." Bella made no attempt to hide the strange mix of disgust and admiration in her voice. And if the conversation itself had not made Narcissa feel uncomfortable enough, Lucius decided it would be a nice moment to walk in on them discussing his love life. "Well, what can I do? They basically throw themselves at me." Lucius smiled. It was that kind of smile he always put on when he wanted to impress the ladies. Narcissa was amazed by him anyway and Bella enjoyed the game just as he did. Even Jade couldn't help but feel a light shiver running through her stomach. If Lucius had really tried she didn't doubt that he could, in fact, have any girl he'd wanted to. She wondered whether he used magic to increase his natural charm or drank potions.  
Lucius sat with them as he did ever so often when he needed some gossip-facts from Narcissa and Bella about some girl he wanted to get off with. Jade sensed that she was not needed anymore (nor was she keen on spending more time around Bellatrix) and so she decided to finally start her astronomy-essay. It was due tomorrow, after all.

* * *

It was cool outside and stormy. The sky was grey as if it was about to rain. It had been like that for a few days now though it never rained. The wind blew Jade's coat and ruined her hair. She sat on the jetty and stared on the lake. The wind made the water curl and it seemed silver in the distance. The decision had not been easy but ultimately she'd made her call. Speaking of which... Jadyn reached under her collar and took off her necklace, closely examining the pendant. It was a dark green emerald, which seemed to not want to suit her at all. It did not suit the look in her eyes or her eye color, it did not suit her hair or her dressing style; it did not suit who she was. To her, an emerald was a cold stone and it fit cold, distant people. Not her. The only thing that seemingly got along with the cold gem were the slytherincolours she wore.

Tom had given it to her on her birthday, a few days ago. "It doesn't suit her.", Bellatrix had mocked. Tom's response to Jade was simple: "Don't worry. You'll grow into it."

A day later she and Tom had worked out some spells for telecommunication, bound to legilimency. She hexed her pendant as that was something she would always have with her. Tom chose his diary. It was dear to him and most of the times he carried it with him anyway. Time to tell him. Her index finger ran over the pendant as she activated it. Her mind formed words, only two, joined by vague pictures. 'Lake. Now.' There was no need to send him more information than this. Either he would deem her important enough to show up - or he wouldn't and more words could certainly not change that.

It was almost a week ago that Tom had asked her out. Ever since he'd given her space, maybe a little too much. Or he was trying to show her how important he was to her life. Whatever it was, it was mean. Of course she meant him to keep the usual distance but now she felt like he was cross with her.  
"It does surprise me that you chose to stay outside despise the weather." She turned around at the sound of the soft velvet voice. "I like it." "I know. Still, that is very unusual." "You do not surround yourself with many usual people." "True. But it is a good thing to do, don't you think?" He sat down beside her. The common warmth that emerged from the human body and is always perceptible to the person next to someone was missing. She picked up nothing from him and for a moment she wondered, how that was possible. "I though about your offer." "The Yule Ball." "Yes." "So?" He cocked his head curiously. "No." Tom frowned. "I can not go to the Ball with you. I feels like I'm doing you a favour - or even worse, doing me a favour. You were asking me out, which means a date, which means romance and love. But I do not feel that way for you and... please do not get cross with me for being honest, but I think that neither do you feel that way." A smile tugged on his lips. This was going to be even more dramatic than he had intended. She shouldn't have turned him down, it would only make things more difficult for her. He did his best to hide his good mood and made a sad face. "What a pity." "Sorry." "No, no, it's all alright." He blinked and looked back over the lake. "We wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable, would we?" he murmured, seemingly more to himself than to her.

"Hey, gem!" "Jade." "Is a gem, makes no difference to me." "Shut up." "Never!" Bellatrix laughed and snatched Jadyn's book. "Now listen: Remember how you've told me Tom certainly would not ask me out?" "Yes..." And then she had turned him down the day before. "Well..." Bellatrix leaned back and smugly examined Jaden's notes, "he asked me today." Jade grinned. "Did he?" "Indeed! What's so funny about it?" "Do you know why he asked YOU out and not someone else?" "Because I am so much better than you!" "You really should ask him that, Bella." The other one became impatient. Suspicious. "Why?" Jade shrugged. "Just because." "No! Tell me; what do you know that I do not know?!" Jaden smiled and relaxed. "Give me back my book." Reluctantly Bella did as she was told. "Good girl. Now go and ask Tom."

She didn't know what he told her. She didn't speak much to her anyway and now Bella was either avoiding her at all costs or harassing on her worse than ever - playing the sweet lovable girl whenever Tom himself was around. So he probably told her the truth. But it did not matter to him what feud his ladies had. Bella would never seriously harm Jade, simply because she'd annoy her beloved Tom Riddle with that.

Still, the night of the ball was promising. Although no one else had asked her, Jade went there anyway. Mostly because she was lacking fellow-sufferers with whom she could've spent the evening. She was in fact, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. All of her friends were with someone. Even Tom.

* * *

And Jadyn truly looked pretty the night of the Yule ball. A dark green dress, wearing the necklace he gave her for her birthday (he wanted to be polite and Lucius told him that he could do no wrong giving a girl a gem.) And she wore a thin silver silk scarf. Jadyn O'Hara represented Slytherin with all her heart. For a moment Tom found himself wondering whether she'd found another guy. Soon enough, however, he'd found out that she hadn't. Just went there to have a good time. And she did have it. Some guys from Rawenclaw - but especially Slytherin of course - asked her to dance.

"Jaden!" "Charles!", she smiled, greeting him with another foreign name. He was still not entirely used to this. He had found her at one of the tables near the buffet. Kindly he handed her a glass of that special wine Lucius had smuggled in. He wasn't much of a drinker and neither was she but that was to his advantage. It was a strong wine. "May I sit with you?" "Of course. Take a seat!" She gestured to some chair and took the glass. Jadyn took a sip and frowned. "Is that alcohol?" "Indeed. Malfoy brought some and I thought you might enjoy it." "I'm not much of a drinker." "What kind of Slytherin are you? One does not get the chance like this to break the rules and have much fun without great chance of getting caught every night. It's a one-time-opportunity." She grinned. "You're probably right." Jade handed him a glass as well and rose hers. "To what shall we drink?" "To us, my dear!" "To us!", she repeated proudly. "To us!"

Tom was rather surprised by how quickly the wine's effect began to show. Her cheeks glowed blushing red, her skin was almost burning him (a feeling he rather enjoyed) and she was becoming careless and carefree. Life was wonderful to her. He asked her to dance once or twice, eventually a third time. While her steps were still light and accurately and lively at the same time, she did become more dependent on his guidance for the dancing. At some point he found himself enjoying this. Her being all funny, a bit seductive (Tom prayed that the wine was the cause and not just the transmitter for he wouldn't very much like to be in a relationship with her) and a bit philosophical, the way people always become when the night gets late. Eventually he found him a little bit drunk himself. Didn't change his efforts, anyhow. That he acted way too out of character went by completely unnoticed to Jade. Which may also have been caused by the wine.  
After a while the hall began to clear up. People left, returning to their common rooms (or running for the loo - depending on how much illegal alcohol they've had).  
"Don't you think it's time for us to leave as well?", he whispered in Jade's ear during that Rumba. "HmMm. Probably...", she purred. "Let me get you another glass of wine and then we leave, alright?", he offered. "Sounds good to me."  
Jadyn completely missed out that white pill he slipped into her wine.

"You know, I didn't think you would dance with me." "Why shouldn't I?" Tom was guiding her through the cold corridors of Hogwarts. Was she aware that he did not take her back to the common room? She probably was but did not care at all. "Because you didn't want to go to the ball with me. Was it just to annoy Bella?" "No... but it sure was a nice side effect..." She clung to his arm and took a deep breath. "Did you just get me drunk?" "Would you mind if I did?"  
Maybe it was the way he said it, purring so huskily in her ear. Maybe it was the effect of the pill kicking in. Maybe it was something she'd oppressed for too long. In the end it didn't matter what exactly it was, what mattered was the result: Her lips on his.  
She was shy, more like giving a peck on the lips than a proper kiss. And yet it tasted sweet and made him uncomfortable, as feelings and other things he couldn't control always did. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it for a moment which made her giggle. An exciting secret, breaking the rules in the dark.  
The wall behind him shifted, responding to his thoughts like a pupil to his favourite teacher. A smile crossed Tom's lips as he dragged her inside, whispering the words which would keep the room shut for the night.  
"I can't believe you know how to actually lock this room for people outside. Generations before you have failed." "Well, I've got quite some talent." "Oh, you sure do." The room lit up.  
Room of requirement. Whatever one asks for... in this case it looked like a loft apartment. There was just about everything: A fireplace, a sofa, a bed, a table, food, beverages, ... everything one could look for. "This is marvellous!" The girl by his side sounded amazed. Absolutely fascinated. Then again, with a memory like that encountering such a place which was constantly shifting, changing, twisting her mind - it must have made her feel the same way he always felt whenever he encountered a new black spell: Excited and overwhelmed, barely able to contain his feelings.  
Tom dragged her to the sofa and had her sit down. "You're drunk." "I've noticed. Strange. A bit uncomfortable. I feel like I am talking nonsense." "You were, occasionally." She giggled. "Was it very bad?" "I could cope." "Thank you." "What for?" "Not taking me to the common room like that."This surprised him. Did she actually think he as being a nice boy? He would've found it pathetic if he had been sober. But he wasn't and it made him smile a bit. "It would be very rude of me, to embarrass you like that." "No, it'd be oblivious. And, pardon me, you tend to be very oblivious when it comes to social interaction." "Oh, really?" He snuck his arm around her. "Indeed..." She cuddled up against him. His body was cold and lean, yet she felt safe. This was something Tom has always had: The ability to make people feel safe. Not necessarily in a romantic way, but safe nonetheless. Safe in such a way that they felt strong, almost invincible, at the same time. But right now she felt just dizzy with emotions that could impossibly be her own. His skin on hers cooled her down to an acceptable temperature. The fire and the wine made her feel all dizzy and way too hot.  
"You should probably avoid Bellatrix for the next few weeks.", he suddenly advised. "Why is that?" Tom shrugged and ran his fingers through her hair. "Jealousy. She envies you." "What for?" "For being my favourite. I prefer you over her." "You sound like you're talking about your favourite books." "But it is true. Bellatrix knows that she could never keep up with you." Jade laughed silently. "I don't think that is enough to make her envy me in such a manner that she would actually hurt me." "It is not?" His fingertips brushed her cheek, making her blush. "Maybe this is..." Tom kissed her gently. He could taste the wine on her lips, sweet and enticing and bewitching. A taste that carried his thoughts farther than he initially intended. Hands started to wander and god knows it did not stop there.

* * *

He was gone when she awoke. The ticking sound of his pocket watch was the only proof that this night had been reality. This and her hangover and her clothes that were spread all over the room. And the fact that she felt wrong. But feeling wrong was just in the back of her mind because her head burned like fire. 'You're drunk', she remembered him say. This was the massive aftermath. Trying not to break down in tears, having to face the challenge of getting back to the common room without causing any attention or suspicion and her mind on fire, Jade staggered over to the closet at the other end of the room, the blanket carefully wrapped around her. Which was rather foolish, guessing what had probably happened the night before. She was lacking almost all memories of it. But she was sure that if he had been there, she wouldn't need to hide herself. It was to late for that, as much was sure.  
A memory of his cool, silky skin on hers flashed through her mind and made her pause for a moment until she was sure not to fall as soon as she took another step. This got her all dizzy.  
There were not many clothes in the closet but just what she needed. It was good enough for her, Tom must have taken care of that. After getting dressed she folded her dress (although she couldn't resist putting on the scarf again) and turned a superfluous pair of shoes from the closet into a bag. Transfiguration classes proved to be very helpful and she silently swore to never underestimate a master of transfiguration. Or the effect of such strong wine.

Tom was in the common room and, rather bored, flipped through the pages of some 'dark magic' book. It was almost six o'clock and the other students had been long asleep.  
"Tom?" A slurry, thin voice grabbed his attention. A voice, known, and yet - it sounded so strange... Way not enough power for that person! And she had never used his name again since he had told her that he didn't like it. Something was wrong with her and that was good for him. It meant that the effect of his actions kicked in.  
"Jadyn." He greeted her. She was exhausted and looked as if she had been holding back tears. He frowned satisfied.  
"Did you sleep with me?" "Do not worry, I took precautions." "That was not my question!", she hissed. He'd never seen her quite as confused. And as with all strong personalities, confusion caused aggression. He cocked his head for a second, before he responded. "Yes. Yes I did." A shiver ran down her body and he could see the look in her eyes changing from angry to almost broken. No, not just almost.  
He'd never thought that the effect of his little... experiment would be so fascinating to watch. He was amazed to see the effect it had on her: Broken, she'd definitely been crying and she seemed to be disgusted, taken aback and yet awestruck. It'd been funny if he wouldn't have to worry about how this scenario would end.  
"I was drunk." He looked up again. She didn't continue. Neither did he. After a while, Tom finally answered: "So, what do you want to hear? That was not a question so I do not feel the need to answer. Neither was it an incorrect statement which would make me want to correct you. So, what do you want to hear?" "I wouldn't have slept with you if I hadn't been drunk." A reproach? Hopefully. A smile flashed his face. "I know.", he whispered, so silently, that she must have heard it and yet it was not loud enough for her to respond directly to it.  
She had to focus and for a moment she closed her eyes. Her head must burn like hell itself after all that wine. What just happened between her and Tom must have been very exhausting (Tom was not the man for innuendos but he couldn't help noticing that one) as well. He was quite fascinated: She was falling apart, right there and then, losing everything she'd had - her innocence, her friend, her mind. And yet she gathered whatever strength was left to confront him. A nice move.  
"I... Tom, you got me drunk." "Oh, did I?" Suddenly she fell forward, barely able to hold herself. She caught herself, closer to him than she had intended. Her eyes flashing with hate, disgust and despair. He noticed that her skin was still burning in that way he loved so much. Hot, not sweaty but just so overheated.  
"Did you know," she whispered, her lips just next to his ear so he could feel her trembling breath, "that it is considered rape to get someone drunk and then sleep with that person?" "Oh." Tom whispered back with a voice that made her go crazy. He was doing it again, he was using his voice against her! And the alcohol (or rather the drugs, but she didn't have to know that) in her blood was still having its effects on her. "Is it?", Tom said, acting surprised. Mocking her. She quickly straightened up and stepped back.  
"I found your watch." "Thought you might care about the time, should you wake up." "To hell with you!" She flung said thing at him. A certain silver necklace with a dark-green pendant followed. This did, in fact, hurt Tom. Of course he'd been expecting her reaction. Didn't mean he'd like it.  
"So what now?" He asked, playing the bored brat with a smug smile, a role which he enjoyed every once in a while and which never remained without strong emotional response. "Stay away from me!", Jaden hissed. "As you whish", he whispered, sounding amused. As if she could win this game. Only seconds later the door to the girls' room was slammed shut.  
Oho, she was angry! And hurt. She was desperate, too. A mixture which provided him with a tingling sensation in his stomach and made his head all dizzy. It was so exciting to watch: He hadn't done much, taken fewer actions than he could have - wine, some words - and that girl was going mental! She was easier than he thought. He had prepared for an argument, for hateful words and reproaches, maybe even her telling a teacher. But apparently she clung to him more than he had guessed. She was not willing to tell on him, after all. Even now that she believed he had raped her she kept her mouth shut. Which was not her way. Within little time she'd be a wreck. Tom guessed for three weeks, maximum.

* * *

"Miss O'Hara?" Slughorn's voice sounded worried. Her work results had rapidly become worse within the past month. She also refused to work in a group. She barely talked to anyone. "Yes, Sir?" She turned around, closing her bag. She'd just packed up and was one of the first ones to leave. Another strange habit she's developed. He gestured her to stay until everyone else had left. She straightened up as she stood in front of him. Unlike until a month ago, her eyes did not talk. "Jadyn...", he began, unsure of how to begin this talk. "You seem a bit stressed out lately. Has anything happened?" "No, Sir. I can reassure you that I am absolutely fine." Her voice broke with the last word. "No, you are not. You have changed a lot within the past month." "I am afraid to have to tell you that this is what people do. They change." "But not like that. Not without... undergoing a certain... experience. You seem broken." "I am fine, Sir. Do not worry about me." "What about Tom?" "Excuse me?" "You were... the closest thing to a friend he's ever had. You did him good. What split you up?" The look in her eyes flickered with despair. Yet she shook her head and with ahusky voice the girl replied: "I don't think that this is any of your concern. He is fine, I can assure you. Tom's the kind to guy who's always fine. And so am I." "Jadyn-" "Professor, there is nothing I wish to talk about to you. And if I don't want to miss my next lesson I have to get going. A nice afternoon to you, Sir." The conversation was over. As little as her eyes would tell him; they told him that. "Very well!" He straightened up. No chance in getting through to her. "A nice afternoon to you as well, Miss O'Hara. But do know - if you ever need to talk..." She was halfway gone before he could end his sentence. "Goodbye, Sir." She carefully closed the door behind her and leaned against it, trembling. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down, tried to suppress the awful feeling she got whenever thinking back to... that night. It wasn't like she could recall much. She remembered wine and music - and Tom. He kissed her, he touched her... Tom. It was not even two years ago that she had met him. How could it have come that far? He had broken her, used her... what was she to him? Less than a friend, more than a lover - how was that even possible?!  
"Jade." Over and over again she heard him whisper her name in her ears. It was a memory as painful and bittersweet as nothing she had ever imagined.  
"Jade!" Worried eyes looked into hers. Lucius Malfoy stood in front of her and cocked his head. "We don't have astrology tonight. And neither do we have herbiology now." She nodded, weakly. "Thanks... for letting me know?" "No problem. Are you alright?"He sounded a bit different. The way she remembered him sounding whenever he was about to get into serious trouble. "You're not the kind to care." "No. But Dumbledore is. He's having you called to his office. Trouble ahead." Aha. So she was right! "I better get going then?" "I'll take you there. You look way too pale to walk alone." "How charming!" She hissed. They were right though, Lucius and Slughorn, too. She had changed a lot. Become colder, more distant and polite to a point where it was almost ridiculous.  
They didn't speak a word while she followed Lucius to Dumbledore's office. She had not been there very often, only once or twice, always minor issues. This time didn't seem much different.  
She entered the man's office, leaving Lucius to wait outside. Polite as Dumbledore was, he asked her to take a seat and offered her some tea. "Thanks, none for me." "Didn't you like tea? I think I remember seeing you enjoy some at lunch quite frequently." "My taste must have changed." "Like many other traits of yours." He handed her a glass of water. "I do hope though you don't mind water." "No, that is fine. Thank you, Sir." "You're welcome." He took his seat opposite of her again, looking her up and down, with his deep blue eyes as if he wanted to look into her soul. "Now, the reason why I wanted to speak with you is that many teacher have submitted complaints about... your performances in class. They have gotten worse..." He skipped though his papers and took a sip of his tea. "A lot worse. If you don't do anything about this, you might fail this year. We might even have to expel you. I'm sorry, but you know that we ask a minimum of our students. You cannot be the exception." "I understand that, Sir. I've just had a rough time lately. But don't worry, I'll be back on track soon." "I don't think so, Jadyn." He leaned closer and examined her once again. "I don't know what exactly happened to you to break you in such a manner. But it is breaking you and you cannot overcome that or suppress it. Things like that need to be dealt with. Properly." She nodded and leaned back. Jade had made her decision a long time ago. She wouldn't tell on Tom. She didn't even know why, it just felt wrong even thinking of it. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" She shook her head in denial. "No, Sir." "You can always talk to someone, remember that. I am here, there are other teachers, there are students, there are the centaurs. I saw you talking to them just the other day. Actually they are the only ones not complaining about you. You seem a bit like a stray lately but they enjoy the conversations with you. They say you've got great potential and are very eloquent. Don't ruin your life. If you need to talk, talk to someone; anyone." "I will." "Promise!" She sighed. Why not? She'd become pretty good with lies since the Yule Ball. "Promised." "Very well." Dumbledore nodded and got up. Jade arose as well and followed him to the door. She could barely await the moment that people would finally stop questioning her 'change' in behaviour. It was not easy not scratching her eyes out in despair whenever she thought of 'that night'. Though she barely remembered anything she was sure to know what had happened and that was enough to bring tears into her eyes. She felt so cheap, so disgusted - by herself. She wasn't even blaming Tom - she was angry with him, yes, but she did not for a second blame him. She was hating herself for being such an easy girl. NO! Jadyn silently shook her head. No. It was all his fault! HE was the one who started it! He was the one who had taken advantage of her constitution. He was the one who'd raped her! It WAS all his fault. Then again, if she hadn't been drunk... She shook her head again, trying to make those terrible thoughts go away. She only realised that she had tears in her eyes when Dumbledore gently put his hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright?" And that was when she felt herself giving in. Falling apart.  
Tears ran down her face and she was barely able to whimper a broken 'No'. "Oh my." Dumbledore sounded more concerned than he did anyway. "Come on, have a seat. You do need a cup of tea and then you'll tell me, alright?" She sniffed and without any power in her body left, let herself sink back in her chair.  
Just when her teacher passed her a cup of 'warm, comforting tea', the door flew open and two people stumbled inside, screaming and hissing at each other. Two people she immediately recognized: One of them was Filch, the janitor, disgusting and unnerving as ever. The other one was Tom Riddle. She shuddered and her cup hit the floor with a high pitched tone, scattering into too many pieces to count and the tea ruining Dumbledore's carpet. None of it mattered the moment she saw his eyes: Cold and brutal was his look - he still knew her, knew every inch of her, inside and out. His breath was ragged and his cheeks glowed. His mind razed in a frenzy of anger and surprise. Had she talked to him? Was she just about to? Jade quickly got up, trembling, barely able to contain her emotions.  
Tom cocked his head. "Hello, old friend.", he said. Just Filch pushing him forward reminded him of the trouble he was in. "I found this-" The old man held up his diary, "in the library. Tonight! How did it get there, eh? Asked him, says he knows nothing. Not been there last night, he claims! But this time, professor, this time, I got him!" "Mister Filch, this is a very bad moment to clear things. Maybe this can wait?" Dumbledore said, nodding in the direction of the mental-breakdown Jade. "I'm afraid it can't! We do need to punish this little brat!" "Language, Argus, language!" Dumbledore reprimanded. "I'm sorry, Jade, do you have this moment?" She was unable to nod, unable to think straight. Tom's presence alone made her want to throw up. And yet there was something else, deep inside her. Something she had been able to hide as long as she had been avoiding him. Now it began to show once more and she could not hate him. And hated herself just the more for this.

"Tom, we have talked about this." Filch stood aside, Tom and Dumbledore had taken their seats on each side of the desk and Jade sat on a separate chair, closer to the fireplace. Dumbledore seemed rather exhausted. Why was this boy always getting himself into trouble? He was so talented and had a very promising mind, so why was this necessary? "You are so much more than this. Stop breaking the rules and you could easily be Hogwart's best student. A shining example of mankind. So why this trouble?" "Sir..." Tom's voice was smooth and very calm. He didn't seem worried at all, although even Jade knew that he would probably be expelled if him breaking the rules once again turned out true. "I can just once again reassure you, that I did not break any rules. I was not out at night. I must have lost it the day before." "It was not there in the evening!", Filch screeched angrily. He seemed scared that Tom might get away with misbehaving - again. And he was not willing to let that happen! "But it was there the night! How do explain that, eh?" "My dear Argus, would you please stop screaming around? And to you, Tom - don't lie to me." "I am not lying, Sir." Tom sat up straight and with his perfect blank face, presented his alibi: "I was not in the library. Couldn't have been." "And why is that?" Tom hesitated a moment. A moment too long. Dumbledore would figure he was lying! A triumphant smile ran over Filch's face. And through Jade's mind. She found herself saying: "He's right, though. He was with me, in the common room. We were studying for herbiology." What? Tom turned to Jadyn. Painfully slowly his lips formed a smile. A mean smile, humiliating and venomous. What had she just said? Why would she protect him? How could she? No. No! What had she done? Why? What was on her mind as she spoke those words? "Oh, really?" Dumbledore sounded surprised. His blue eyes showed sadness. And despondency. Don't, don't do this; his look seemed to whisper to her. But the first step was done, there was no going back now. "Yes, Sir, really. Almost the whole night." He cocked an eyebrow but in the end didn't have a choice but to believe her. "Well, if that's the case-" Dumbledore stood up and gestured towards the door. "You are dismissed, Tom." Filch frowned and cursed under his breath. He left the office before anyone could say another word. Jade felt almost sorry for him. "What was it, Jade, that you wanted to talk to me about?" So suddenly she was in quite a hurry to follow her fellow student. "Nothing, Sir. As I said, we studied the whole night and I am probably just overfatigued. Sorry for the trouble. Have a nice day, professor!"

Tom had been waiting for her. Outisde of the office he leaned against a wall, calmly awaiting her with a smug and mocking smile. His eyes glowed with pride. As their eyes met, the world seemed to stop turning for a moment and she could no longer hold on to who she was. When he brushed a strand of hair out of her face, she finally lost herself. No going back now. "Welcome back." he murmured. He slipped his hand into his pocket and presented her a certain silver necklace with a dark-green pendant. "You might want this back." Silently nodding Jade took it and put it on.

'Dark-green does not suit me.' she had said, contemplating what she connected dark-green with. And she still remembered his response: 'Do not worry. You will grow into it.' And he had been so right.

"What brought you back?", he asked her while they were on their way down to the lake. "You're a drug to me. I hate you and you poison me in every possible way. But I cannot let go of you anymore, to deep have I drawn you in. Now all I can do is surrender myself to you and stand by, watching, as I become everything you want." "Unless you leave.", he suggested lightly. He knew exactly that she would not be able to leave. How could she? She had become more dependant on him than anyone before. This must be, Tom told himself, because she was so easy to manipulate. Easier than anyone else he'd ever met. He hid a smile as he remembered all those little occasions he had influenced her without her knowledge.

Narcissa's encouragement to turn him down had been no coincidence. Bellatrix agreeing to her sister's suggestion to take her on a shopping trip to Hogmeade was not just good luck. Filch taking him to Dumbledore exactly at the time Lucius went to get Jade was part of his great big plan. Often enough there had not even been a need to directly interfere. She was talking to Lucius? Tom knew what he needed his 'friend' to say to rpovoke a certain reaction of hers. She had to sit next to Bellatrix? Every move of the latter had been on instruction. He didn't need to directly interfere. Often a word or a gesture had been more than enough. Proper actions were rarely, if ever, needed to corrupt her mind.  
He had never raped her.

~Flashback End~

**Summary: The Dark Lord recalls how he managed to break Jadyn O'Hara. He asks her to the Yule ball, but she turns him down, being afraid of getting into some kind of abusal relationship with a person who doesn't love her. She turns him down. At the Yule Ball, he still asks her to dance, provides her with some alcohol which Lucius malfoy smuggled in - and drugs her. When she wakes up some hours later, she can barely recall anything. But what she can recall frightens her: Tom. His skin, his lips, his fingers. She is convinced that he slept with her. Raped her. In conclusion, Jade begins to avoid him. Falling apart inside, her performances in class become worse and she withdraws entirely from interaction with actually anyone. Just as she is about to confess to Professor Dumbledore what happened, Tom shows up. And once again she can not avoid his influence. He is toying with her and Jadyn cannot help herself: She is by his side once again, standing strong as a rock, never leaving it again. He has broken her. The Jadyn O'Hara who was brave enough to turn him down, who was lively and upbeat, is dead. She replaced herself with coldness, politness and total devotion. This is how she puts it: "You're a drug to me. I hate you and you poison me in every possible way. But I cannot let go of you anymore, to deep have I drawn you in. Now all I can do is surrender myself to you and stand by, watching, as I become everything you want."**


End file.
